Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Hooking up

Hmm. Ok so I won't get into details, but I went out on Friday night with one of my 8 closest friends. We smoked, we drank, we had lots of fun. Now, one of the guys we were hanging out with happens to be one of my co-worker's best friends. We will call him "The Assumer" lol. My co-worker was there with him. His name will be "Muscles" heehee. So Muscles gets really wasted and disappears. The place was closing, so my girlfriend, her co-worker and I were ready to leave. I asked The Assumer if he wanted to come back to my place to smoke with us and he said yes. So we all go back to my place, smoke and my girlfriend and her co-worker got up to leave. Now I was beyond trashed at this point - I was more high than drunk - and The Assumer just stayed there. So I'm like ok, whatever, this dude ain't getting any anyway, so he can sleep on that side of the bed. I didn't care. But, of course, The Assumer assumed that he was getting ass. He tried to rub on me and I was disgusted. I was like dude, its sleepytime. No, really, I used the word "sleepytime". I had my back to him and told him this. But he was not getting it! He was like, "I don't even get a kiss"? I said, no, now go to sleep. So after another 10 minutes of trying, he gave up, called a cab and went to his girlfriend's house.

A few things about me that you may not know:
  • I do not have random sex
  • I do not have random sex ESPECIALLY when I am drunk or high
  • I won't (again) make the mistake of having sex with an attached dude
  • When I say NO, I mean NO

Don't fuckin' try to get lucky just because I didn't kick you out when other people left. I was wasted and couldn't get those words out in time. But I damn sure know how to say NO, drunk, sober and in a few different languages, just in case English doesn't do it for you.

I know I'm a cock tease. I don't mean to be. I shouldn't be. But I'd rather be a cock tease than accused of being loose. Thank you.

LOL.

May your orgasms be strong and plentiful.

Ciao fuckers!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Words from the Wise (ok, Words from Oprah)

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends" (oooh ain't that the damn truth??!) A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women (I wish I would have read this before I got with that bastard "baby mama drama"-havin' jerk). He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later (PREACH ON OPRAH!!). You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. . . Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs (pshhh all the ones I've met are). You should not be the one doing all the bending. . . compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. . . You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you ...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. . . look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right...Make him miss you sometimes. . . when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

CIAO FUCKERS!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Taking matters into my own hands

Ok, so although the bible states that women should be pursued (to indeed prove that he IS into you), I decided to take matters into my own hands and pursue the Civil Engineer. Successfully. Thank you very much.

I can handle the physical relationship with no strings attached. I am ooookkkkk with that.

The drought will be over soon. Yahoo.

Back to doing homework now.

Ciao fuckers.

0000 hours

It's the witching hour y'all. Midnight. Yup. All alone as usual. Hopefully, I'll be changin' that soon.

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay celibate forever. Yes. Celibate. I said it. Re-read that for the proper emphasis.

I've been spending a lot of time alone, listening to new music (well, not new, but has anyone listened to the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack? Just lovely!), trying to make some sense of what's going on in my life right now. I've determined that I am essentially neglecting my needs in order to accomplish things like school and work. I need to get laid.

Its been four lonnnnng months. I'm gonna go blind soon, you know what I mean? My email buddy errr...the civil engineer? I may not have mentioned him, but he is definitely
FWB material. Lean, but muscular, Italian yummy, smart, funny and outgoing. The only thing is that he is one of the Techie's closest friends. But guess what? The Techie missed out and its not like he and I had more than a 3 minute phone conversation anyway. I've moved on. The Civil Engineer is a bit of a playa...ok, a bonafied slut - TOTALLY NOT LOOKING TO SETTLE DOWN. That's OKKKKKKK with me. I'm ready for that sucka. Seriously. I am very independent, but there are just certain things better left...uh...in the...hands of others.

Fo' sho'.

Ciao fuckers.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Furthermore

I need to vent a bit.

I rather enjoy the fact that the 2 manly looking, fat bitches that have the audacity to talk about me and my friends - well, they're catty amongst themselves too. Or rather, its a little more one sided. (I also enjoy the fact that I'm probably the only one who can understand this blog lol. Sorry for being cryptic lately guys)...

As a new reader pointed out a couple of days ago ('sup Ms. BreaMd!!)...time to cut the fat. I do feel like slicing that shit off with a Ginsu knife, to be quite honest with you.

LOL

Apartment Hunting

Oh and the plot thickens. "Catty Bitches Anonymous"...they should have meetings.

Although I know all the things I know because of nefarious actions on my part (is that vague enough for ya??), I am happy I know what I know. LOL.

I need to find an apartment. Anybody sees anything in Yonkers, lemme know!!!!

;-)

Ciao fuckers!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Its a Down Day

Yep. Emotional rollercoaster lately. I'm a cantankerous little ball of angry spirit, rolling out of control and picking up more shit on my way down.

Disappointment is the name of the game people. And I'm tired of playing it! Anyone want to go to the wedding with me? LOL. Bueller? Bueller?...yea that's what I thought. No takers. [sigh]

So in light of my shitty mood, I am posting more lyrics. Sometimes Eddie Vedder just says it better than I can.

Indifference - Pearl Jam
I will light the match this mornin’, so I won’t be alone
Watch as she lies silent, for soon night will be gone
Oh, I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I’m free to roam
Oh, I will make my way, through, one more day in hell...
How much difference does it make
How much difference does it make, yeah...

I will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
Oh, I’ll keep takin’ punches until their will grows tired
Oh, I will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind hey,
I won’t change direction, and I won’t change my mind
How much difference does it make
Mmm, how much difference does it make...how much difference...

I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune
I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
How much difference
How much difference does it make?


I Got ID - Pearl Jam
My lips are shakin’
My nails are bit off
It’s been a month since I’ve heard myself talk
Only advantage this life’s got on me
Picture a cup in the middle of the sea

And I fought back in my mind
Never lets me be right...
I got memories,
I got shit
So much it don’t show...

Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me in at night
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held my hand and i...

On empty shells seem so easy to crack
Got all these questions
Don’t know who I could even ask
So I’ll just lie down and wait for the dream
Where I’m not ugly and you’re lookin’ at me

And I’ll stay in bed...
Oh, little I’ve seen there
If just once I could be loved...
Oh, I’d stare back at me

Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me in at night
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held my hand and i
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me close at night
Oh, I paid the price...
Never held you in your eyes

Wishlist - Pearl Jam
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off.
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on.
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top,
I wish I was the evidence
I wish I was the grounds for fifty million hands up raised and opened toward the sky.

I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me.
I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me.
I wish I was a messenger, and all the news is good.
I wish I was the full moon shining off your camaro's hood.

I wish I was an alien, at home behind the sun,
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on.
I wish I was the pedal break that you depended on.
I wish I was the verb to trust, and never let you down.

I wish I was the radio song, the one that you turned up,
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish,
I guess it never stops.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Oh Yup, the Hits Keep On Coming

Got into a car accident on my way to work. Motherfucker cut me off. His fault. I can drive my car, so I'm not too stressed about it. Well, I am b/c when is it going to end?? His insurance will be paying for the damage. I am so tired of this bullshit. This black cloud needs to dissipate already for real.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Con"fuse"ing

It was a damn fuse. My parents picked me up and we drove down to the parking garage that my dead car was sitting in. Dad cleaned out the battery, yadda yadda, still wasn't working. So I asked my Dad to look at the fuse box and lo and behold, the main fuse was busted. We took out the plastic parts and my Dad touched the two sides of the copper thingy that the current runs through and voila! My alarm went off!...we tested the alarm some more and then I was able to turn the car on! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!! ;-) My Dad electrical taped the busted copper parts together so that the car would run and I am going to get the thing fixed and winterized early next week.

All is right with the world...and with my '98 Mazda 626 (time for a new car though...soon).

Yahoo!!

Ciao fuckers!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Murphy's Law

So its been a really bad week. I try to refrain from whine-blogging as much as possible, but damnit, I need to vent (as I sit in my bedroom , double-fisting Corona Lights and smoking the hell out of this Newport).

Not only was my flight from Miami on Sunday delayed for 2 hours, causing me to get home after midnight - mind you, I had to study for a Photoshop test that I was having @ 8:30am Monday - morning, but I was also really sick, to boot. Called out of work and slept all day after class.

Tuesday I wake up and decide that I'm going to withdraw from my 6 hour Tues. class because its a waste of my day - so I didn't go - and I decide to be proactive and start doing the website that's due for my Thursday class...only to discover, after doing about 2 hours of intense work...that my laptop is slowing down. Then, well of course, it freezes up. I tried a hard reboot to no avail. I call those Dell tech support motherfuckers and they basically told me I needed a new hard drive. That's all fine and dandy, but being that I spent about $600 on partying in South Beach, a bitch was just trying to save money, so I reinstalled XP (which, with my 20 GB hard drive, took about 10 hours, including the time it took to reinstall all the other software). Although I lost all my files and alllll of the hard work I put into my assignment, I did all that shit fo' free. It's 10pm at this point, so I work until midnight, redoing all the website stuff.

Wednesday went by just fine. Worked on the website some more and watched 'Lost' with my backstabbing neighbor (didn't know she was a jealous bitch until Thursday!)...took some medicine and passed out.

Thursday - website was due by 6:30 when my class starts. Lo and motherfucking behold, laptop frozen again. I just got fed up and went to CompUsa, bought a $150, 80 GB hard drive and paid another $50 to have it installed. Yup, lost ALL my shit again. This time, with the larger HD, it only took me about 2 hours to reinstall everything. Luckily for me, I'd already uploaded all my work to my school's server, so I worked off of that and finished what I had to do before I left for class that night. Got compliments from my professor on my progress, so that's cool. Worked on the website some more when I got home at 10pm and went to bed.

Woke up early today (Friday) to go to work. Drove downtown, in the pouring rain, to 57th and 9th, where I park my car in an indoor garage. See, my haughty ass refuses to take public transportation - sorry, I just can't deal with the idiots one can run into, so I avoid the train like the plague. Work was fine, bugged out with my cool-ass boss, put some jerks in their place and by 7:30pm, I was ready to go home. I put in my 8+ hours, so I left.

They were taking forever to bring my car up after I'd paid my little $18. They told me that my battery was dead and that they were giving it a boost. Cool, no prob, ya know, these things happen. Then about 20 minutes later, while I melted in my own sweat (its hot up in that bitch), I was informed that my car was 'muerto' (Spanish for dead). I went down and tried my best to get that fucker to start - no dice. I went outside and called my Dad (he's the bomb) and he told me to bust out the wrench, take off some cables and wash the acid off the battery with club soda. I picked up some club soda, broke out the emergency kit that good old Dad gave to me and pulled out that wrench. I couldn't figure out what he needed me to unscrew, so I just cleaned off the top of the battery. Nope, didn't work. The parking lot attendant tried to boost it with a portable battery, didn't work either. Its costing me another $34 to keep it there until 8:30pm Saturday.

I call my Dad back and he said that he and my Mom would pick me up in the morning and go with me downtown to look at the car. Mind you, my parents live in Peekskill, which is about 40 minutes north of my house and it takes another 40 minutes to get from my house to work. Huge inconvenience, but they are the best parents anyone could have and they're doing it with pleasure. I don't call on them often, but they're there in a pinch - and they offered - so I accepted. My Dad told me to sign up with AAA ASAP, which I did when I walked back to work.

Lucky for me, my job supplies us with cars home after 10pm, so I was able to hop in a car and get home (another $72, but the company pays for that).

My fuckin' point is that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, thank you Mr. Fuckin' Murphy and your smart ass. Amazingly, I didn't bug out, didn't scream, remained cordial throughout this entire week, even though I feel like I am suffocated with all this bullshit. Money doesn't grow on trees and regardless of the fact that I have a good job, I don't need this shit.

I have bills to pay and I'm trying to find another place to live. I just can't deal. My Dad reassured me that everything would be fine. My biggest concern is getting to school on Monday morning - I HAVE to drive there. There is no other way. Its 30 minutes northeast of me.

I just hope that everything goes well tomorrow. I don't pray, but if you believe in that kind of thing, throw my name up there too. I could use the extra help.

Ciao for now, man...

Friends...how many of us have them?

That's an old song by the way.

So found out yesterday that 2 people who I thought were good friends, were actually catty little birches talking about me behind my back in regards to the pics I sent them from my vacation. Now if someone says, hey have a great time, I want to hear all about it when you get back, wouldn't you send them the pictures too? Don't be jealous or anything b/c YOUR bachelorette party was such a snore. These chicks are like 30 years old, grow up, come on man. Ugh. Had some very mean things to say about my friends. They're beautiful inside and out - how could you have something bad to say about that?!

Whatever. I had to vent that out. I need to move, I can't be around people like that...apartment hunt is on fuckers.

"Can't nobody take my pride, can't nobody hold me down, oh no, I got to keep on moving!!" (LOL!! Ghetto Diddy with the remix!!)

Ciao for now!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

So Many Details, So Little Time

There is so much about South Beach that I loved: the clubs and bars, the beach, the pools, the Jacuzzi at 5am eating bagels after the club with 8 of the most amazing women in my life...and so much to share about all those places and all my friends...but, I'm beat, so I'll keep it short.

We were greeted after landing on Thursday morning by a 14 passenger stretch Excursion limo...mucho classy!!...we checked into our hotel and headed over to Finnigan's Way for eats and drinks...ate outside and then it started pouring, so we went inside for about 4 rounds of shots - Apple Bombs...yummy!!

Walked in the rain to Wet Willie's for Call-a-Cabs and Miami Vices. So much fun! Bought a few bottles of vodka and went back to room 537 with the shit balcony lol...we smoked up a few times, and drank until about 10pm, then went to Crobar and danced the night away. Changed into our bathing suits and walked on the beach and dipped in the Jacuzzi! 15 hour drinking marathon the first night. Awesome!

Beach, pool, jacuzzi on Friday morning...laughed like crazy people. Had a fantabulous dinner at a Cuban restaurant on Washingon...More blazing and drinking...off to Space we went for a fun night in the VIP lounge...

Saturday, some of us were sick (probably due to walking around the cold hotel the night before in our bathing suits, wet from our nighttime drunken swimming adventures), but we managed to get tans and play tag in the ocean, got out for some lunch, walked around and then we passed by what looked like a biker store and I got my nose pierced! Hurt like a bitch, but I love it!! We went back to Space that night for more VIP treatment on the roof top. Although I was sick, I danced as much as I could, but I didn't drink much. Someone had to stay sober to take care of the sleeping beauties lol...went to 537 around 6am and the 8 of us ate bagels and bullshat for a bit.

Sunday, woke up around 10am, packed and had the most amazing meal at Zula's, then went out to buy some South Beach sweatpants and tees for myself...got me a shot glass too...finally, we were pooped out and happy to come back to New York...our flight was delayed for 2 hours and I didn't get home until midnight...grrrrrrrr.

All in all, it was the best trip I've ever taken in my entire life and I am so happy that I was able to bond with my girls - about half of us were single and we didn't look at one dude. It was all about us in South Beach - getting to know each other better and tightening up our 'sister circle'...just amazing. I'm happy I'm back, but I wish I could just step into another realm sometimes when it gets rough or stressful and be back in South Beach with my sweeties.

We should all be so lucky...

Ciao!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

More pix!!

Go here (courtesy of my girl Jess)...

Enjoy!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

South Beach Pix!

Click here for the pix from my vacation...

I played hooky from work today because I'm still under the weather, but I have an ass load of homework to do tonight, so hopefully, I'll have details from the trip tomorrow...

p.s. I only pierced my NOSE, Mad Munkey. LOL

Ciao!

What a weekend

Hey! Just got back home from South Beach and boy let me tell you: what a weekend it was. Lots of boozing, partying, piercing, debauchery and an incredible time with 8 of my closest friends. Must study for a test I have in the morning. Then to work I go. I won't be posting again until Tuesday and hopefully by then, I'll have pix for ya!

Til then...

Ciao fuckers!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Epiphany

So during a long email exchange with my new friend Madi (met her through the girls we're going to South Beach with back in January and we quickly became like sisters) this morning, I came to realize the root of all my insecurities, physical, mental and emotional. I've decided to write this letter to the asshole that ruined my life: the life that, painfully, everyday I'm trying to rebuild.

Dear Willie J. Huffaker (a.k.a. The Asshole)
Everytime I look in the mirror, I want to spit on the reflection. Everytime I feel insecure about my weight, insecure about the person I am, I want to spit on YOU. All those times I told your pot-bellied ass how sexy you were to me, I should have eaten my words.

I blame you for my not being able to say two normal words to a good looking guy, for fear of him not finding me attractive. I hate you for making me feel fat, even when I was looking better than I ever did in my life. I hate you for your verbal abuse, telling me I wasn't good enough. I hate you for discouraging me from going back to school b/c then we'd never see each other and I hate myself even more for believing it. I hate you for promising to come over and never showing up. I hate you for having been broke b/c, as a result, I was broke too for supporting your stupid ass. I hate you for taking me for granted and making me never want to do anything nice for another man.

I hate you for the times that you pushed me around, choked me, threw me into a metal pole in the parking lot, fought me to the ground and threatened to kill me, while adding that you'd done it before. I hate you for using my car as a 'pimp ride', riding around, 'protecting' hookers. I hate you for all the hustling and drug dealing I was forced to witness, just because I was too stupid to realize that I was only sitting there with you because you made me feel that I couldn't do any better.

I hate you for calling me a whore, when it was you that never broke up with that bitch who looked like a close relation to a horse. I hate you for ruining my credit. I hate you for taking advantage of me, taking my kindness as a weakness.

I hate you for getting me pregnant. Twice. I hate you for bitching that you had to sit in the emergency room with me because I had miscarriages. Both times. I hate you for letting me sit in my house alone, crying, cramping, bleeding and in pain, so that you could take the kids you chose to have with two different women, home. I hate you because I had to call my brother to take me to the hospital, the first time. I hate you because I miscarried at work and had to take a cab from the city all the way home because you were too busy to pick me up.

I hate you for being the reason that I can't be intimate with someone. I can't share my world, I can't share my dreams, I can't share the innermost aspects of myself, for fear of being laughed at and shit on the way you did to me.

I hate you for making me feel like I could never be beautiful, and for not believing others when they've said so. I hate you for never celebrating my birthday and never telling me how happy you were that I was born.

I hate you most of all for making me hate myself. I hated myself for so long and I abused myself b/c I thought I deserved it. I cut myself, I drank too much, I changed who I was on the outside because I thought I couldn't change what was within.

But now I know that I am strong because I went through all of these things. I'm strong because you're weak. I'm strong because I AM worth it and I AM beautiful and someday, I will show it on the outside as well as I do from the inside.

Thank you for being all that you were: nothing. I now know, after a year of being without your sorry ass, what a man ISN'T. I know what a relationship ISN'T. It WASN'T that 3.5 years of my wasted life. It wasn't you. You were but a stain in my heart, that, thankfully, I rubbed out the minute I left you.

And I never looked back.

--Yaz

2 Days...

...and counting.

Today is my Holy Day. I call it "Girlification Day". Today I shall get a mani, a pedi, a waxy and a tanny. LOL. Must be girly today. I can't wait to be alone while I do it too. I just wish the peeps at the nail salon didn't talk so much. Shit. I pay an assload to relax. Whatevssss.

No word from 'The Techie' yet, but his boy and I have been emailing each other since yesterday. I am a slick bastard, but I'm keeping it friendly, not mentioning L. When your name is kept on people's tongues...well, that's my theory anyway.

K, off for my day of beauty!

Ciao fuckers.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Even closer

So. 'The Techie' called me today while I was driving home from work. Nothing major, but hey he called right? Gotta stay optimistic.

Ciao fuckers.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Closer

So...went up to Ardsley today for the memorial celebration. Yea I went to work, but I did what I had to do and then headed up there. L, 'The Techie' was there and from what Sara told me, he wasn't into the girl he bounced with last night and didn't know why he bothered in the first place. Ok whatever. As he was leaving, he came over, gave me a kiss and said hello and goodbye. I said lata!!

His bro invited a whole bunch of us over to L's house and we went and bought beer and headed over there to watch football. Got there and he smiled and thanked me for bringing beer and munchies over, said I didn't have to. I told him that I never go to someone's house empty handed.

Long story short, I don't know what's going to happen. We were all pretty buzzed and the guys were blazing before we got there. After Sara left, I blazed with A, L's brother, so I was feeling it a little bit, considering I was too hung over to eat anything all day today. L and I talked a bit. He actually knows where my old high school is b/c he played them in football. We're both 1980 babies and we laughed about that. I drove his boy home to White Plains, and before I left, I just said lata b/c honestly, had I been a little closer to him, I might have just molested him. He is THAT beautiful. I love Italian men. Jeezus.

His boy gave me his number and I called him and left a message with my number. Ball is in his court now. I made the attempt to get the ball rolling. Details to come, I HOPE!!!

Ciao fuckers.

And the idiocy strikes again

Boy am I tired. Ok so, things with 'The Techie'? Yea, didn't go over too well. He is more beautiful than I remember and I was so intimidated. We didn't really talk much, mostly because I refused to chase him. We were in conversations together, but I'm like a fuckin' social retard when I like someone. He really intimidated me. Not intentionally, but he is that beautiful. Can I say that enough? I felt like an ugly duckling next to him and unfortunately, it showed. Hate that. Besides, he ended up seeing some not so attractive girl that he knew and they ended up leaving together. Hey, I don't blame him: single guys - always go for the sure thing when ya just want a piece of ass. I'm far from a sure anything and I'm a real prude...I should get that on a t-shirt...nice.

Went out afterwards with Sara, Bauer, Sid and 'The Techie''s brother. No one could figure out what he was thinking by leaving with her. They all said she was a friend of a cousin or something like that but whatever. Those are all euphemisms for "sure thing" in my book.


The memorial ride for Chris is today and I won't be there, gotta work duh. But all the dudes that we hung with last night will be there, so Sara is on a recon mission. I told her to give him my number or whatever. What do I have to lose right? I should have had that attitude last night.

Ciao fuckers.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

DOWNLOAD THIS NOW!

I Got ID - Pearl Jam

My lips are shakin’
My nails are bit off
It’s been a month since I’ve heard myself talk
Only advantage this life’s got on me
Picture a cup in the middle of the sea

And I fought back in my mind
Never lets me be right...
I got memories, I got shit
So much it don’t show...

Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me in at night
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held my hand and I...

On empty shells seem so easy to crack
Got all these questions
Don’t know who I could even ask
So I’ll just lie down and wait for the dream
Where I’m not ugly and you’re lookin’ at me

And I’ll stay in bed...
Oh, little I’ve seen there
If just once I could be loved...
Oh, I’d stare back at me

Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me in at night
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held my hand and I
Oh, I walked the line...
When you held me close at night
Oh, I paid the price...
Never held you in your eyes

Off to meet up with 'The Techie' and the boys with Sara in a few - just thought I'd pass along this ditty to make ya smile!


Ciao fuckers.